Ordering Thai Food | Bangkok 1st Time


**For entertainment only, all characters and events are fictional and not related to any real person, place or situation that have ever existed in the real world**

Bangkok ... A city where you'll have the most alien encounters in the world. I'm Nelson Howe, professor of Philosophy in New York. I lived in Bangkok for 3 years. And this is the story of my first time in Bangkok!

Salmon : What did surprise you most in Bangkok?

Nelson : Before I came to Thailand, I thought "Tom Yum Goong" was the main dish just like fast food in America. But actually, Thai do not eat it frequently.

Salmon : Oh .. You don't know that?

Nelson : How am I supposed to know! When somebody talks about Thai food, it's always about Tom Yum Goong! And because of that, I understood that Thai people generally eat this soup like Russian drink vodka. But living in Thailand let me know the true culture of eating here. I would say the real national dish of Thailand is "Kra Pao Moo Sub".

Salmon : Do you like Thai food then?

Nelson : I can write it on the list of the most delicious food in the world. Thai food is a combination, a symphony of taste .. sour, sweet, salty, spicy .. very delicious! But what I admire more than food is where to get it.

Salmon : What do you feel when ordering Thai food the first time?

Nelson : I have to tell you this. Street food in Thailand are really cheap and delicious. In America, you are limited to eat only what's in the menu. You cannot change or adjust anything at all. But Thailand let your imagination free! No frame, No rule, No menu. You can eat whatever you like. Ordering Thai food is the best example of customized service. ...

===Example===

Ms.Eatitallday : Can I have a pork fried rice? with the minced pork, no tomatoes, no onions, and runny fried egg!

Ms.Spicylover : Can I have spicy spaghetti? with sausages and chickens, extra yard long beans, and runny fried egg ... and coca-cola.

===End of Example===

Nelson : It's so freestyle that even '50 Cent' cannot improvise like this. Doing plain food, then flip the pan, and making sophisticated Italian food. That chef is incredible! [ThaiSnackOnline said: Yep, seems to be a mandatory common skills for cook here these days]

Salmon : Calm down, uncle!

Nelson : I saw that colourful way of ordering food here plus the magnificent ability of Thai chef. So I gave it a try.

===In one of the ordinary street food restaurant===

Nelson : A carbonara pizza please, with a crispy crust, extra cheese, no pepper and no anchovy.

Waitress : ..... ..... .... . . (?)

Nelson's thought: Imanuel Kant once said "Never mess up with a person who is carrying a huge hot frying pan." so I decided to go easy with a simple dish instead.

Nelson : OK, an omelette please.

Waitress : How many eggs? sliced pork or minced pork? with vegetables or not? fluffy or crispy? with rice or not? eat in or take away?

Nelson : .... .. . (Ordering Thai food is so complicated!)

===Let's come back===

Salmon : Besides street food, what else did you try?

Nelson : After I tried a lot of versions of cook-to-order foods, I've learned how creative Thai people are able to order foods for their meals. To get only one dish could be very detailed. So I practiced very hard to order Thai noodles. I stayed right before the noodle cart and said confidently "Sen Lek, Hang, Kioew" (thin white rice noodle and dumpling without soup). The waiter is shocked with my pro skill. So I went a little further.

===At a noodle cart===

Nelson : More meat balls, no vegetables, no beansprouts, and the coca-cola

Waiter : Lek-Kieow-Hang-Chin-Mai Sub-Mai Ngok-Coke!

Nelson's thought : I can't believe his nervous system responded and functioned automatically after receiving the order. I wondered if there was any super computer chip implanted his brain. His muscle movements transcended the limitations of the human body.

===Let's come back again===

Salmon : So finally this trip, did you try Tom Yum :) ?

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Koh Kae - Salted Groundnuts

A big crunchy chew full of protein

The end :)

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